A day-dreamer's diary of what's yet to come

Previously published in the Terre Haute Tribune-Star, 12 April 2020

Day 20. I read somewhere that people are finally getting the sleep they need. A positive thing amidst the stay-at-home order. I quit setting my alarm in the morning. Woke up 10 minutes later than usual. Lay in bed thinking about all I had to do. Yet, somehow I feel I have all the time in the world now, but don’t get as much done. But my hands are damn clean.

Day 25. What day is it? I can’t keep track. What? I would have sworn it was two days earlier. 25 days ‘til bills are due.

Day 29. I may not be embarrassed to play darts in public anymore. Wow what practice will do for you.

Day 37. Dear Doctor Drew: I had a dream where my significant other coughed in my face. Do I need to be tested?

Day 42. I walked 9 miles today. I saw 53 other people. 9 on bicycles, 15 dogs and three deer. Of the 53, only six were wearing masks, which means what?

Day 50. Still no symptoms of the virus. I’d almost welcome a symptom to just liven things up.

Day 52. If this keeps up until August as one expert I follow says, my epitaph will read “Patron Saint of Seeleyville Liquors.”

Day 60. I needed a haircut when this stated and now ... I either need to risk cutting it myself or learn to do a ponytail. Or a French braid. Maybe cornrows.

Day 61. I went to a store. Just to be a bad boy. I followed all social distancing rules, used gloves, safely disposed of them and savored a Fudge Round.

Day 76. I think it’s Tuesday. That means tuna right?

Day 88. What a summer. Zika, West Nile, Dengue. I’ve survived this long. I dare you, mosquito, to infect me. At least there is a treatment.

Day 94. Neighbors are burning yard waste. Wind is bringing their smoke our way. If one of them is infected, could the burning yard waste with its smoke now entering my lungs also carry the virus? Surely not. But, do we know?

Day 98. 4th of July. Few fireworks. Fireworks stores deemed nonessential. The Silent Celebration of Freedom. “zip zip zip boom, ahhhhhhhhh.”

Day 99. I saw a line at the Dairy Queen. People were appropriately distanced. Yum, I’d like a cold treat. Are the counter staff practicing safe Blizzarding? All those stainless steel surfaces, are they virus free? Is a Super Choco Latte Blizzard with extra sprinkles worth the risk? Is there an insurance policy I can take out for this?

Day 100. No football, no baseball, no auto racing, few working. Still no symptoms. Does malaise count?

Day 126. School begins next month. Or will it? I was teaching online anyway. At least I can wear shorts to class (don’t use video). Better for my students’ imagination.

Day 133. “Our long national nightmare is over.” But that was 1974. Now It’s: “I did the models better. Only 90,000 dead. The scientists said 140,000. And I never wore a mask." Take that, Dr. Fauci. New campaign hashtag: #TrumphealedAmerica.

Thomas L. Steiger is a self-isolating professor of sociology and director of the Center for Student Research and Creativity at Indiana State University. Email thomas.steiger@indstate.com.